Sue Nami in a Stepford Gown

Back in April right before The Husband and I moved, I made a fabulous gown for a dear friend of mine named Sue Nami  for our best friends wedding in Las Vegas at the Wynn. She's utterly fabulous and a doll to work with...AND...she loves purple!

The other diva is an amazingly talented and beautiful songstress.

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

Drab to Fab Part Un: Relocating Across Country

Living room before, looking in.

As anyone who has ever moved a household can tell you, it is never as easy as your mind thinks it is.

Since the middle of April and by middle I mean April 15th, aka tax day, why is this such a big day well, anyone who pay's taxes can explain but also if your husband happens the be an accountant than it becomes especially relevant.  We packed up our home and had a moving company come and haul it away which ended up costing about 3 times what we were quoted, however once they have half of your house in a truck your kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place and have to bite the bullet. Such things happen.

We are now back in the glorious city of Sunshine and fabulousness known as West Hollywood, the day's of rain and fog seem like a distant but fond memory...and yes, I do look back at the quaint city of Pacifica with some fondness now...I appreciate the walk to the grocery store where all the clerks knew me and the sound of the ocean which, regardless of a harsh day or a good one always lulled one to sleep...seeing an occasional whale, dolphin or seal was so exciting and now missed.  However, now we have nearly 340 days of sunshine, world class dining and entertainment, the finest shopping, luxury cars at ever curb, botox and beautiful people, and great friends who are considered family.  In essence, we have the best the world can offer and I am so enthused with this.

Living room before, looking out

I am sorry I have been absent and I have missed writing about our life all this time, so far, we have remodeled our kitchen, bleached and painted almost ever square inch of our new place and taken a 70's chic apartment into an ever evolving masterpiece.

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

Design on a Dime: Redo your dining room for under $25,000...

The husband and I know a lovely couple Miss M., and Mr. G.,...soon to be married...and they are lucky enough to have just purchased a beautiful home in West Hollywood...as any straight couple should, they consulted their gay's for some decorating ideas.  After hours of scouring through Pinterest I was able to find some fabulous dining room set ups that I think you would love to have in your own home.

Now I have deducted that Miss M.  has a taste for French Provincial and with their new large and square dining room it will fit fabulously!

As always we are going to try and keep this under budget, now with $30,000.00 I hope we can do it, with a room that so many of us have such fond memories in, I would hate to scrimp but; these are tough economic times so bear with me.

Now, I will be using our favorite mail order furniture store Horchow, and I will sneak in a few new gems from a new place I discovered called One Kings Lane...This will be really fun!

LETS GO!

2 Lido Host Chair...$1,799.00ea.
Natural Dining Table...$2,199.00
4 Maya Armchairs...$999.00 for 2
Viola Mirrored Bar...$5,929.00
2 Gianna Console...$1,279.00ea.
Golden Chandelier...$1875.00
Slate Leiden Curtains...$89.00ea.
6' Barley Twist Rod...$167.00
2 Drapery Rod Rings...$68.00/set
Belvedere Chest...$1,199.00
Dinner service for 8...$664.90
Antique Baroque Flatware...$339.90
Cheers Glassware...$155.40
Azure Cotton Napkins...$114.00
Orchid Napkin Rings...$645.00
8' X 11' Panthea Rug...$649.00
4 Aero Sea Glass Pillow...$556.00
Glass Bottles w/stoppers...$295.00
Perched Birds Table Jar...$575.00
Turquoise Decor. Accents...$86.90
Golden Geometric Tray...$425.00
Swarovski Photo Frame...$270.00

Four Songbird Prints...$425.00
Antique French Floor Mirror...$550.00
Demetrius Mirror...$1,050.00
Four Silver Bird Panels...$1,795.00
Julius Center Piece...$219.00

GRAND TOTAL: $24,633.10
Somehow we came in under $366.90 Maybe I should get another vase?

Since this room is inspired by French Provincial design, I wanted to have a lot of light an airy pieces, such as the bird prints, centered with bright and colorful accents scattered throughout the room...large furniture helps fill up a large room, but by adding mirrors you keep the room from feeling overstuffed or claustrophobic.  The real room I thought of when I designed this is directly visible from the front door, so I wanted a statement chandelier which instantly sets the mood and overflows with class and sophistication, your guests know exactly who their host is from this chandelier. The table has lots of textures and is plush and inviting from the head of the table to the guest chairs and their cushions. The Side tables around the rest of the room serve as additional storage for serving platters china etc...they also allow you to always have a place for fresh flowers to be scattered around, adding to the French theme and filling your home with even more color and the best parts, fresh scents!

Now, I added this fabulous Viola Mirrored bar...it's fantastic!  the front doors slide into the sides so you can pack it with booze then hide the fact that your an alcoholic and yet still be classy while doing it.  These fabulous glass bottles with stoppers are decorative and functional for brandy's decanting etc.

All in all this room is now full of luxurious, comfortable and fashionable pieces, sure to intrigue your guest, and delight the senses almost as much as the fabulous food you will soon be serving...Hopefully!

Now, I wonder if I could do a room almost just like this for under $2,000.00? HAHAHA I know...that's funny, but who wants to see me try?

As Always, if you would like to create this fabulous room or one like it don't forget to visit our friends at Horchow and One Kings Lane!

Watch Your drink,

The Stepford Husband

Los Angeles House Hunting

Anyone that has ever moved will tell you, it's not packing up your current house and making sure everything is safely tucked away in a moving truck, it's actually finding a new place.

The Husband and I, are lucky enough to be moving back to the fabulous city of Los Angeles with all it's celebrities which cause lines on streets in shopping centers and even at your favorite restaurant, it's extravagant and sometimes overpriced restaurants and entertainment hot spots, and yes even the amazing residents which give tourist the world over a horrid taste in their mouth...it's not us its you and the fact you have no idea what a cross walk is...

Now, finding the perfect home in Los Angeles isn't so much about finding the style you want but you must also do complex calculations such as location: Beverly Hills, Beverly Hills Adjacent, West Hollywood, Century City, Hollywood Hills, Brentwood...the list can go on but if it did I would be lying because I wouldn't live in them. Next Grocery Stores, then Starbucks, Liquor Stores, if you go beyond Olympic a cab will cost you at least $20...this is all a very complex system.

So with some light hunting I found this little gem!  I hope it's still available when the time comes.

It's absolutely perfect as it's very large, has space for an office for both the Husband and I, large bedrooms, large living room which is perfect because I can set up different entertainment areas, a formal dining room which is fab because when it comes time to clean up, your guest don't see the dishes being cleared.  It has a absolutely charming dining nook, and the kitchen is quite large...the drawers might need some sanding and new tacks but that's something I am willing to deal with.

Cross you fingers for us everyone!

Exterior

Entry

Living Room

Living Room From Entry

Art Deco Retro Kitchen

Formal Dining

Break Fast Nook...looking into Kitchen

Den/Office

Master Bath

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

Madonna's "Give Me All Your Luvin"

I get so tired of the media ripping on celebrities for "copying"each other in Madonna's new  video for "Give Me all your Luvin" at one point in the video you can clearly see a group of football players pulling off a Burberry Trench coat...seams very similar to a scene in Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance Video" so, who is copying whom?

Also later on in Madonna's video you can clearly see a reference to Marilyn Monroe...granted this is nothing new, as Madonna has been doing this for the last 30 years or so...so it's really not surprise...what do you think of this new Madonna song and video...it's catchy, but honestly, I expect more/better from her, but then again considering what she's been putting out over the last 10 years maybe I shouldn't!

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

Joan Rivers Stoned on Louis XIII

78 and still living it up, one of my favorite comedians, Joan Rivers is getting high on a brand of Organic California Reefer or Hash or whatever it's called named Louis XIII...after getting a weed prescription for cateracts or it might have been consistently narrow stools...I'm not sure!  She proceeds to get so high with her friend and then with a case of munchies they are so high they can't drive and Melissa has to come get them!

Hallarious!

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

Joan Rivers Vs. the Drunk Whore Chelsea Handler

Joan Rivers and Chelsea Handler are in a feud over Chelsea's apparent disrespect towards Joan...I think this is absolutely fabulous!!!  I love Vodka as many of you may know, but I love Joan Rivers more and if they were in celebrity death match, Joan would win!

Don't forget to catch Joan and Melissa: Joan knows best Thursday's on WE Channel!

Listen to Joan's side of the story during her interview on Howard Stern!

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

Who's Bigger? Which GOP Candidate is Packing and who's Lacking?

The Husband and I have been watching the GOP Debates for quite some time now and we are curious, Who's Bigger?

Rick Perry:
We believe, based off his general character, mannerisms and stance, Rick Perry clearly is average, and I think he's OK with that.

Rick Santorum:
I personally think, and until I am proved wrong, my pinky is bigger than Santorum's Prick.  Why do I say this you may ask?  Have you seen his wife's face? No woman with a constant frown like her's is satisfied in the bedroom...just saying.

Mit Romney:
I think it's pretty safe to say that with 5 children and one very happy looking wife...It could be the millions of dollars her husband is worth too...but I think Mit Romney is probably packing.  Is he the Biggest?  I'm not sure.

Newt Gingrich:
It would be nice of me to say he is average...I think I passed the point of nice when I opened Adobe Illustrator...but let's be honest he probably hasn't seen it in years...did you know that for every 30 pounds of weight you loose you gain an inch?  Maybe if he doesn't become president he can be the next spokesman for Weight Watchers...have you seen what they've done for Jennifer Hudson? Maybe, the better question is, what did they do with the rest of Jennifer Hudson?

Ron Paul: 
He's a crotchety old man that pronounces words a little funny and he has some very big age spotted hands and just in general doesn't seam to give a damn...I would say that he might win this cock fight.

Now, if Herman Cain was still in the race it's probably a good assumption that he would have been the winner of this race, I mean how many mistresses and sexual harassment claims were brought up against him?  I always wondered how he came up with the 9,9,9 plan...

My results are assumed and until the mistresses start speaking out and "accidentally" sending their photo's to TMZ or other such news organization I don't think we will ever know.

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband 

Mr. Bachmann GAY? I Need a moment to fix my Gaydar!

The Husband and I were watching Fox News last night, the Iowa Caucus was on and it was quite an interesting showdown between all of them, all five hours of it. It really reaffirms my opinion that we need to fix our education system...because those bitches can't count!

But the interesting part of it wasn't who won but who wasn't even in the race...namely Marcus Bachmann, AKA Mr. Michele Bachmann.  Now, he definitely has a portly cherub sort of look to him, and while Michele was talking about marriage between one man and one woman, I looked over at Mr. Michele Bachmann and my Gaydar Spiked!  You all know what I'm talking about...

I looked over at The Husband and I said, "He is so gay!"

The Husband responded, "Totally, and it looks like he has herpes on his lip...Michele was probably back stage yelling at him, I told you not to suck that dick now look at you, and I have to go up on stage in five minutes!"

Me being the Google master, I hoped on my I phone and I started typing Mr. Bachm...second suggested search term was Mr. Bachmann Gay!!! Ding Dong the gaydar just started playing "It's Raining Men!"

As I am looking through the search results, I see one article mentioning Cher...Yes, Ladies and Gents The Cher...was watching him one night and started a twitter chatter about how she thought he was so gay, soon sequined and feather bedazzled Cher fans the world over were organizing and spreading the news that The Cher just outed Mr. Michele Bachmann...let's face it, if The Cher doesn't have a highly tuned Gaydar, I don't know who would!

No investigatory mission would be complete without video evidence, so I found this video.  Now, I recommend closing your eyes and listening...just listening, I think you will find that you hear little tiny Prada, Gucci, Fendi, and Louis Vuitton purses falling on the floor with each lisping, high pitched gay squeak!

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

P.S. Did anyone else notice Rick Perry's extremely cross-eyed daughter?

Jennifer Aniston sexiest woman in history? WTF?

WHAT THE F...How did this happen?  Now the list of the Men's Health 100 Sexiest Women of All Time was compiled by the votes of a bunch of stupid straight men who usually think with their pecker but in this case, I don't know what they were thinking with!  SO, to relieve my frustration, The Husband and I have compiled our own list of sexiest women of all time and I want you to vote on them!

Here are my top 20 picks not in any particular order. Vote at the bottom:

Always the ravishing femme fatale, in the 90’s we knew her as Xena: Warrior Princess, and damn did she make kicking ass look good.  Now we know her as Lucretia from Sparticus: Vengence grrr.

Who doesn’t love this photo…it’s hard to find someone who has seen all of One Million BC with Raquel Welsh, but you will be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t seen this photo…it’s a Hot Cave Chick with DD breasts and she says like 10 words in the whole movie…for straight men isn’t that a wet dream?

So I don’t know much about Brigitte Bardot, I will admit this. However, she was one of Jen’s picks for Sexiest woman of all time and judging by this photo I would agree…she has a great set of knockers, great blonde hair, and effortlessly pulls off this wilting flower thing…another side note, time was not kind to this woman!

Who can deny the validity of Marilyn Monroe being on this list…Hollywood Royalty, Presidential Mistress…she has been dead since 1962 and she is more famous than ever! In fact her former Brentwood, CA home sold in September of 2010, for $3.85 million, $255,000 above asking.  The former owners said they loved the house and know that the new owner will love it too, but that Marilyn Fans can be a bit of a nuisance…I think influence beyond the Grave speaks volumes, what say you?

Hello…Sophia Loren! I will say she even looks fairly good now, depending on the day, but she was definitely a vixen in her day!

Penelope Cruz she is quite the fabulous Spanish beauty, her movies are, for me, a little hit and miss but she is definitely a vixen!

Michelle Pfeiffer looked good back then, still looks great right now, according to The Husband, “Before You, I would have banged her!”

Who doesn’t love Pamela Anderson…In my early years I inherited a poster from my brothers and, yes, I had it on my wall…she is cute, bubbly and trashy.  I think that equals sexy, especially for most straight men!

Now, if you were alive in the 80’s and 90’s you knew who Cindy Crawford was…the supermodel vixen was in everything from Vogue to Pepsie commercials…the best part, she still looks like this I think, thanks in part to some Parisian melon or something.

Shannon Tweed…Playboy Centerfold, married to Gene Simmons…finally…She’s funny, normal, an amazing mother of two, and still looks great!!!

Angelina Jolie, she’s hot, she’s smoldering, looks great in a toga and with a gun…granted according to US Weekly she has been having a bit of a weight problem, but I saw her on TMZ last night and I think she looks great!

With Meryl Streep we have an amazing very versatile actress who has aged both gracefully and quite beautifully…my hat off to her!

This Ladies and Gents is Daniela Pestova, she is a famous fashion model, former Victoria’s Secret Angel,  and fricken gorgeous, she hails from the Czech Republic and still looks fabulous!

How Jennifer Aniston ever got into this ranking when compared to women like Nefertiti is beyond my knowledge…if there has ever been a historical figure more alluring, mysterious, and beautiful than Nefertiti I have yet to find her.

Catherine Zeta Jones…she’s got Michael Douglass money and her own…she’s strong yet sexy, knows how to sword fight and snake her way through laser beams in a cat suit what more do you want?

I wouldn’t be The Stepford Husband without including this Stepford Wife…Nicole Kidman, this singing siren can be sexy, naughty, feisty and well pretty much anything, what more do you want?

Vanessa Williams…former Beauty Queen, Siren (Calypso in  “The Odyssey” 1997) and screen vixen…I like her!

One look at this beauty and it is easy to see why she is The Donald’s wife…That and her wedding dress, a fabulous couture creation by one of my favorites, John Galliano, costing $200,000, a 50 pound wedding cake complete with 3,000 roses so trump yet so amazing!

One of the lovely comments from “Men’s Health” About Jennifer Aniston was that “Funny is sexy, and Jennifer Aniston is funny.” Now if I can think of one funny woman in history Lucille Ball has this in the bag…Since October, 15^th, 1951 America’s favorite Zanny Housewife has been making us laugh.

 Lady Gaga…now she is new to the scene and by all means not a conventional beauty(neither is Madonna who came in #5), but very beautiful all the same. I think quirky can be sexy!

Have I missed someone? If so, let me know in the comments!

Who Is the Sexiest Woman of All Time
	Lucy Lawless
	Raquel Welsh
	Brigitte Bardot
	Marilyn Monroe
	Sophia Loren
	Penelope Cruz
	Michelle Pfiffer
	Pamela Anderson
	Cindy Crawford
	Shannon Tweed
	Angelina Jolie
	Meryl Streep
	Daniela Pestova
	Nefertiti
	Catherine Zeta Jones
	Vanessa Williams
	Melania Trump
	Lucille Ball
	Lady Gaga
pollcode.com free polls

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

The New Holiday Header is HERE!!!!

HO HO HO...The new holiday header for The Stepford Husband is here!

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

Andrew Christian Premiers Monchichi the Christmas Elf

OMG, a friend of The Husbands and mine, just made it big...at least when it coancerns the male underwear world of Andrew Christian (http://andrewchristian.com/) The man famous for his excellent fitting underwear and trend setting clothing including his amazing kicks!

Now The Husband and I have shopped at their store in West Hollywood several times and you should all go and have your own gander at his selection, it's located at Robertson and Santa Monica Blvd.  I haven't been in a about three months because we have been in San Francisco, but I love their padded fronts (not that I need it) and their so amazingly comfortable...I might have to pick up a few pairs that are featured in this adorable holiday commercial!

Kick start your holiday Andrew Christian style with a lift in your nether regions, featuring Monchichi the Christmas Elf!!!!

Happy Christmas!

Watch Your Eggnog,

The Stepford Husband

Dinner Parties, dishes and Thanks Giving Fashion!

We are inviting a friend of ours over for dinner tomorrow.  Now normally this isn't an issue but for those of you that remember we just got back from five days in Washington D.C. and the house was a mess before we left and the magic cleaning elves must have forgot to clean the house before we got back so it is still a mess...I took on two clients at work and so work has been quite hectic.

Luckily, I devised the fabulous menu last week!   We have plenty of wine, and vodka...I'll be serving:
-Pastichio
-Greek Pasta Salad
-Desert

I am still on the fence for the desert...should I make my famous cheese cake or should I make Lemon Cake with Meringue Frosting...or both...I need your help on this people.

While in DC I came across this fabulous boutique called Coco Blanca and I picked up these amazeballs Chain-link Napkin Rings now for $20 for a set of two they were a bit much...but I believe you would agree with me that they are totally worth it!!!!  I got the last six they had in the store...but they should be getting a new shipment in soon and they are available on their website www.cocoblanco.com or click here: Stainless Steel Mesh Napkin Rings.  Their delicate yet have a masculine edge perfect for The Husband and my table!

If you are looking for way's to dress your table for Thanks Giving I suggest you check out Cocoblanco, but if you are thinking of ways to dress yourself follow these simple trends:
Coppers, Bronze, Antique Golds.....................CHECK!
Sky High Stilettos.....................................CHECK!
50's Inspired Cocktail dress..........................CHECK!
Fashionable Trench...................................CHECK!

Refer to this trend board if you need a visual aid:

Watch your Drink,

The Stepford Husband