Saturday, December 10, 2011

Jennifer Aniston sexiest woman in history? WTF?

WHAT THE F...How did this happen?  Now the list of the Men's Health 100 Sexiest Women of All Time was compiled by the votes of a bunch of stupid straight men who usually think with their pecker but in this case, I don't know what they were thinking with!  SO, to relieve my frustration, The Husband and I have compiled our own list of sexiest women of all time and I want you to vote on them!

Here are my top 20 picks not in any particular order. Vote at the bottom:

Always the ravishing femme fatale, in the 90’s we knew her as Xena: Warrior Princess, and damn did she make kicking ass look good.  Now we know her as Lucretia from Sparticus: Vengence grrr.

Who doesn’t love this photo…it’s hard to find someone who has seen all of One Million BC with Raquel Welsh, but you will be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t seen this photo…it’s a Hot Cave Chick with DD breasts and she says like 10 words in the whole movie…for straight men isn’t that a wet dream?

So I don’t know much about Brigitte Bardot, I will admit this. However, she was one of Jen’s picks for Sexiest woman of all time and judging by this photo I would agree…she has a great set of knockers, great blonde hair, and effortlessly pulls off this wilting flower thing…another side note, time was not kind to this woman!

Who can deny the validity of Marilyn Monroe being on this list…Hollywood Royalty, Presidential Mistress…she has been dead since 1962 and she is more famous than ever! In fact her former Brentwood, CA home sold in September of 2010, for $3.85 million, $255,000 above asking.  The former owners said they loved the house and know that the new owner will love it too, but that Marilyn Fans can be a bit of a nuisance…I think influence beyond the Grave speaks volumes, what say you?

Hello…Sophia Loren! I will say she even looks fairly good now, depending on the day, but she was definitely a vixen in her day!

Penelope Cruz she is quite the fabulous Spanish beauty, her movies are, for me, a little hit and miss but she is definitely a vixen!

Michelle Pfeiffer looked good back then, still looks great right now, according to The Husband, “Before You, I would have banged her!”

Who doesn’t love Pamela Anderson…In my early years I inherited a poster from my brothers and, yes, I had it on my wall…she is cute, bubbly and trashy.  I think that equals sexy, especially for most straight men!

Now, if you were alive in the 80’s and 90’s you knew who Cindy Crawford was…the supermodel vixen was in everything from Vogue to Pepsie commercials…the best part, she still looks like this I think, thanks in part to some Parisian melon or something.

Shannon Tweed…Playboy Centerfold, married to Gene Simmons…finally…She’s funny, normal, an amazing mother of two, and still looks great!!!

Angelina Jolie, she’s hot, she’s smoldering, looks great in a toga and with a gun…granted according to US Weekly she has been having a bit of a weight problem, but I saw her on TMZ last night and I think she looks great!

With Meryl Streep we have an amazing very versatile actress who has aged both gracefully and quite beautifully…my hat off to her!

This Ladies and Gents is Daniela Pestova, she is a famous fashion model, former Victoria’s Secret Angel,  and fricken gorgeous, she hails from the Czech Republic and still looks fabulous!

How Jennifer Aniston ever got into this ranking when compared to women like Nefertiti is beyond my knowledge…if there has ever been a historical figure more alluring, mysterious, and beautiful than Nefertiti I have yet to find her.

Catherine Zeta Jones…she’s got Michael Douglass money and her own…she’s strong yet sexy, knows how to sword fight and snake her way through laser beams in a cat suit what more do you want?

I wouldn’t be The Stepford Husband without including this Stepford Wife…Nicole Kidman, this singing siren can be sexy, naughty, feisty and well pretty much anything, what more do you want?

Vanessa Williams…former Beauty Queen, Siren (Calypso in  “The Odyssey” 1997) and screen vixen…I like her!

One look at this beauty and it is easy to see why she is The Donald’s wife…That and her wedding dress, a fabulous couture creation by one of my favorites, John Galliano, costing $200,000, a 50 pound wedding cake complete with 3,000 roses so trump yet so amazing!

One of the lovely comments from “Men’s Health” About Jennifer Aniston was that “Funny is sexy, and Jennifer Aniston is funny.” Now if I can think of one funny woman in history Lucille Ball has this in the bag…Since October, 15th, 1951 America’s favorite Zanny Housewife has been making us laugh.

 Lady Gaga…now she is new to the scene and by all means not a conventional beauty(neither is Madonna who came in #5), but very beautiful all the same. I think quirky can be sexy!

Have I missed someone? If so, let me know in the comments!
Who Is the Sexiest Woman of All Time
 Lucy Lawless
 Raquel Welsh
 Brigitte Bardot
 Marilyn Monroe
 Sophia Loren
 Penelope Cruz
 Michelle Pfiffer
 Pamela Anderson
 Cindy Crawford
 Shannon Tweed
 Angelina Jolie
 Meryl Streep
 Daniela Pestova
 Catherine Zeta Jones
 Vanessa Williams
 Melania Trump
 Lucille Ball
 Lady Gaga free polls 

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband

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