NO MORE BUTTS: Anal Tobacco use on the rise with Teens

Tobacco does not go in this!

I just ready a disturbing article on Anal Tobacco use, and how it is on the rise among Teens everywhere who are getting high off it.

Now, to give you a little background on how you too can use tobacco anally:

1) Buy standard chewing tobacco, I am assuming a menthol flavor
    might give you an additional zing!
2) Remove pants and underwear.  Please...do this in a private
    location.
3) Take a wad of chewing tobacco and proceed to insert into your
    bum.
4) Clench tightly, enjoy the high.

My biggest question is, why would you do something like this...now according to the article I read it gives you quite a high. However, some possible side effects include early onset prostate cancer.  Permanent sphincter damage, anal leakage, and rectal bleeding.

The other disturbing item to note was one mothers first hand account of how she found out her son was using tobacco anally:

When Janet Peterson was doing her family’s laundry this past Saturday, she discovered something not that unusual in her son Cody’s underwear: a large brown streak. But this streak differed from the normal ‘skid marks’ she regularly encounters while doing the wash.

“It was wider and thicker than usual,” said the homemaker and mother of two, “and there were traces of blood and what looked like tobacco grains in it. It was a lot crustier too.”

This woman obviously has PhD in skid-marks...if she was any more thorough in her analysis I would think she moonlights as an accident investigator.

Please read one individuals first hand account of actually using anal tobacco:

Belle Fourche resident Cody Stevens, 13, says he began using anal tobacco after he noticed older, cooler kids doing it. “It looked like they were having a lot of fun, so I wanted to try. Now, I’m pretty hardcore addicted. I got a wad up there all day every day. Sometimes, the bleeding gets so bad I have to swipe one of mom’s sanitary napkins and stuff it in my Fruit-of-the-Looms.” Stevens went on to say that he doesn’t see what’s so sanitary about those napkins anyway.

This is all so disturbing and strange I honestly can just look on in horror and squirm at the thought...for Anal Tobacco users though, I hope they don't squirm to hard because they might have to graduate from sanitary napkins to Depends if they keep on keepin' on.

In a good way I am glad I stumbled across this because now I know what to do if I really getting a smokie treat craving on my next 5 hour plane ride.

If you have more curiosity about Anal Tobacco use please read the original article here: http://early-onset-of-night.tumblr.com/post/1331048766/anal-tobacco-use-among-south-dakota-youth-a-cause

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband