Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Who's Bigger? Which GOP Candidate is Packing and who's Lacking?

The Husband and I have been watching the GOP Debates for quite some time now and we are curious, Who's Bigger?

Rick Perry:
We believe, based off his general character, mannerisms and stance, Rick Perry clearly is average, and I think he's OK with that.

Rick Santorum:
I personally think, and until I am proved wrong, my pinky is bigger than Santorum's Prick.  Why do I say this you may ask?  Have you seen his wife's face? No woman with a constant frown like her's is satisfied in the bedroom...just saying.

Mit Romney:
I think it's pretty safe to say that with 5 children and one very happy looking wife...It could be the millions of dollars her husband is worth too...but I think Mit Romney is probably packing.  Is he the Biggest?  I'm not sure.

Newt Gingrich:
It would be nice of me to say he is average...I think I passed the point of nice when I opened Adobe Illustrator...but let's be honest he probably hasn't seen it in years...did you know that for every 30 pounds of weight you loose you gain an inch?  Maybe if he doesn't become president he can be the next spokesman for Weight Watchers...have you seen what they've done for Jennifer Hudson? Maybe, the better question is, what did they do with the rest of Jennifer Hudson?

Ron Paul: 
He's a crotchety old man that pronounces words a little funny and he has some very big age spotted hands and just in general doesn't seam to give a damn...I would say that he might win this cock fight.

Now, if Herman Cain was still in the race it's probably a good assumption that he would have been the winner of this race, I mean how many mistresses and sexual harassment claims were brought up against him?  I always wondered how he came up with the 9,9,9 plan...

My results are assumed and until the mistresses start speaking out and "accidentally" sending their photo's to TMZ or other such news organization I don't think we will ever know.

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband 

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