Saturday, November 5, 2011

"I am not paid enough to sit here and make enemies." - The Husband

How would I describe my husband? Charming, funny, attractive, great in bed, don't want to piss him off though, very tall. Now, when it comes to us we are a true partnership - when one gets pissed off the other is soon to follow hence why I am blogging.

Now, I love writing and would love to write a book, but I don't have the patience and between ironing pillowcases, making fabulous dinners, hosting great parties, and working in PR...I simply don't have the time.

Our evening last night was quite eventful: 

The Husband came home screaming into his iPhone. I kissed him hello and grabbed the chilled glass from the freezer, filled it 3/4 the way with ice, 1/4 with vodka, and topped it off with Light Ruby Red Grapefruit juice...while I was doing this he was in the bedroom kicking off his shoes and still screaming into his iPhone. He walked out, I handed him the cocktail and he smiled affectionately at me, took a sip and mouthed "Thank You" then rolled his eyes and replied into the phone.

I switched on the oven to 350, refreshed the ice in my glass, poured 1/4 vodka, splash of Light Ruby Red Grapefruit juice, and topped it off with Tonic; took the Greek Pasta Salad I made earlier out of fridge and stirred don't want all of the Red Wine Vinegar and Olive Oil to continue to sit at the bottom, you want it to continue to coat the pasta...sampled a bit...I'm starving...put it back in the fridge...plucked out an olive and ate it...I'm starving...pulled out the asparagus and cheese stuffed chicken breasts, put them in the oven and added 30 minutes to the timer.

I took a sip of my cocktail and looked up as my husband was struggling to remove his Canali sport coat and talk on his phone with a lit cigarette in his mouth all at once...I walked over and helped him remove his jacket asked if he wanted it in a garment bag and he said there should be one in there. Hung up the jacket in the closet walked back into the living room The Husband screams a little louder, I check on the's coming along nicely...I'm starving!

Chicken is done...The husband Screams into his phone, "THE ONLY PERSON WHO FUCKS ME IS MY HUSBAND!"  I laugh, He gets fired up when he doesn't get the comp from his work he wants...I'm pissed, this means I won't buy the black and gold antique wine glasses and decanter...their gaudy as hell, I love them!

As this evening goes on I am thinking...I am going to do a lot of blogging at the PR firm I work at, and thus, I'm like I should do a blog about my life.  I figured if Julie Powell can write one and become famous off the blood sweat and tears of another person, hell, writing about my Elitist Self, hot tempered husband, cooking, parties, and how to make killer cocktails...fuck I'll make a mint!

Stay tuned and watch your drink...because while my husband sweet talks you, I might be putting a roofie in your drink and trust me the hookers have already been called and my camera is always ready...then you're FUCKED!

Watch your drink,

The Stepford Husband

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