Thursday, December 8, 2011

Exterior Holiday Decorating Tips - From my house to yours!

How do you go from drab to fab?  With Christmas just days away some of us have already decorated others are lagging behind and some have just done a purely awful job of it. Well have no fear because the Stepford Husband is here, if I can redo a bedroom for under $30,000.00 then I can do anything...but mind you I will do it for a lot less then $30k.

These will be your supplies:
LED Lights, Christmas Balls, some beaded garland, real evergreen garlands, of course poinsettias, a evergreen wreath, ribbon, zip-ties, 15' electrical outlets...timers if you so desire.

Throw these all into a pot and let them stew and you will have a magnificent entry that will make all your neighbors jealous.

Now, we are using real Evergreen Garlands...why are we doing this?  they are 15' long which is excellent when you are trying to cover a larger area for very little money. I found them at Homo Depot...I mean Home Depot, for only $11 each. I got four of them, compare the price of the real garlands to the price of the pre-lit artificial garlands at 9' each and at $29.00 each you can already see the savings, especially since you can buy an 18' string of energy efficient LED lights for $4.99 each.

To light your garlands simply stretch them out and wrap them with your LED lights, to hang them, take two nails and put one on each side of the top of your wooden door frame on the top of the ledge where you can't see the marks.  Find the center of your garland, line it up with the center of your door frame, take a long zip-tie and a short zip-tie up your latter with you and the around the garland where it lines up appropriately with the nail, use the smaller zip-tie to make a loop...loop that over the nail...repeat with the opposite side.

Next take your beaded garland and wrap it around your evergreen garland.  Now, you are ready to add your Christmas Balls.

When it comes to your Christmas balls get them in various sizes and I recommend you get about 60 large ones and about 75 smaller ones...this will be enough to cover all four garlands and your wreath...remember to divide them fairly evenly between each garland.

Add the large ones first and disperse them evenly, next group the smaller ones with and around the larger ones, I find that groupings of three usually look quite nice.  Add them to your wreath as well.

Next, add your poinsettias...why are we adding these?  Your garlands are ornaments for handrails and doorways, but you need to ground them to the floor, the poinsettias do this and add a nice finishing touch!

Next, take your ribbon and wrap it around your door like you would wrap it around a present.

After this is all set and done you will have a breathtaking entry that is sure to brighten up your home, spirits...and guilt your neighbors into decorating as well!

Watch Your Drink,

The Stepford Husband


  1. It looks like you robbed the X-Mas display at the mall! haaaaaaaaa

  2. That's right bitches...they didn't even know what hit them!